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Wednesday, August 16th, 2006
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7:49 am
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im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot
im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot
im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot
im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot
im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot
im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot
im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot
im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot
im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot im an idiot
....god damnit.....
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, August 13th, 2006
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12:07 am - quick detailless update
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quick update
-still need to get a job
-had nose pierced but got yanked out and ended up saying fuck it cuz i couldnt get it back in,may get it repierced after getting said job
-have yet to move, everyones lazy
-barely anythings packed
-my walls are pepto bismo pink but i have yet to see them
-emily owes me her soul
-im a kickass matchmaker
-someones in love with me. dont know how to feel about it yet
-dope concerts tomarrow. want to go. but want to avoid like the pleague.
-jj thinks hes going to kick my boyfriends ass. ill fuck a bitch up.
-that is all. i think
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| Saturday, July 22nd, 2006
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1:29 am
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its sad how everyone has turned to myspace and left poor little LJ alone lol. well i have atleast...my bad. eh nothings really going on right now besides what has been. jj wont leave me alone and has started harrassing my friends and family( okay maybe harrass is strong but for lack of a better word). me and cody are uhm... "hanging out" a lot. lol. eh i dont know whats going on but that kid cracks me up and i love being around him so i suppose he makes me happy (again for lack of a better word lol jk) and he gets along with everyone so. joy. im dont with dq shortly. 30th is my last day eh dreading it, im going to get soaked but i guess if i dont it will be sad too, kinda tradition lol. need to get a new job and figure out when im moving in, have yet to pack. have a couple stacks of cds in a box tho lol. poor dq. everyones leaving me, adair, tom, jenna, nate, josh-sooo everyone that knows what theyre doing except for cody. poor kid. oh yeah codys parents are assholes and he ended up getting kicked out of his house at the end of aug. for staying at my house for so late. i feel horrible. he says he wanted to for a while but still. feel like its my fault..hmm probably cuz it is. lol. damnit. if u guys ever talk to him lol just fyi u dont know this.lol. ahhh oh yeah vodka and lemonade hmmm tasty lmao. well thats about as updated as my life gets.
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| Friday, June 30th, 2006
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8:42 pm
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so kitty no longer loves pepe. lol. anyways finally got the internet back-thats exciting. yeah...i put in my notice at DQ. not soon enough though. i still wont have time to get everything done. ive been hanging out with another guy lately but im starting to have 2nd thoughts about it. just a lot of drama at work i could deal without. got another tattoo. yeah thats about all right now well without the details. yay internet. yay randys baby. yay crystals back-ish. good times
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| Monday, May 22nd, 2006
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11:52 am
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graduation practice was today. graduations tomarrow. thats about it. i want to go to warped tour and band camp. jjs being an ass. met dads best friend from back in the day ...and his son...25 though hey long hair. lol he was cute and the comments were...confusing i dont know if he was interested or i was stupid or what. oh well nothing will happen. getting moved to days at work now better hours worse people. dont know how to get ahold of crystal since shes in town, i dont want to just show up and be like hey hang out with me if she has other plans but thats what ill have to do lol. me and ally had a heart to heart last night, good times. poor little joe (Anzelone) i left him all alone, he misses me, its cute. well thats about all. my journals are so interesting lol. oh like the new user pic. yep i took it from the concert I WAS SOOO CLOSE. but yet so far. it was good, i could go on for days but no one cares or ive already told ya. i think im sick from it hailing while we were in line though. or its hep. C like my dads says -i got my eyebrow pierced. yep well thats the update. hope to see yall soon if anyone reads this anymore...
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| Sunday, May 14th, 2006
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11:39 pm
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sigh. HIM concert's in a few days. not too excited, which makes me quite sad. last day of schools in a few days too. not too excited. ville valos on loveline. hes engaged. boo. lol some chicks having a HIM themed wedding...cool..see im not the only one whos crazy. but i so would but my optional husbands probably wouldnt like that. she met him. gr. GOD sorry for you guys reading this lol. lets see what else. went out to breakfest with family today that sucked. so long story short i think im getting an apartment because my grandma started bitching about me having to pay rent with mike and debbie and what not which is stupid cuz i could get my own place for just as much but shes getting involved and its stupid and doesnt need to. then we went to KMART to look for stuff for my cousin for her baby and my gma spent all her money and then after told me she didnt know where all her momeny went pretty much and something about not giving me money for graduation...GAH. i dont even care about the money. that and all during breakfast they talked about her and the baby or ABOUT me not too me. i hate family right not and i probably shouldnt. but my family is pretty much every man for themselves. GR. ahhh villes voice...god damnit. i dont even want to go.
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| Tuesday, May 9th, 2006
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8:47 am - WANTED
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WANTED: someone to accompany a really hot chick to a concert. expenses paid (tickets, transportation, food provided). not to mention spending a night with me. must be willing to put up with a hardcore fan, may be tears. also able and willing to be in the front or atleast try to work the way up front. if interested send applications to Bethany.
current mood:  curious
current music: HIM
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, April 23rd, 2006
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1:15 pm
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okay well lets see here. prom was last night, it was okay. post prom sucked compared to last year and allys bf was being an ass. prom was good though. nicola showed up which pissed me off but i stayed clear. the other day i went to rock valley to take a placement test which i dont even need. they have a papa johns in there. that and we got free razors lol. i dont know what that was all about but they're nice razors. i need to figure out when im moving and what not. still really nervous. its so much change all at once. graduations coming up fast so thats cool, im worried and excited to finally get out. im so sick of DQ- god. i guess i need a change. but not a lot of it. baby steps, but i cant really do that. that and jj brought it up to me so im kinda worried now cuz what im going for is its own degree so i wont have an associates, so what if i dont get a job in the field i want, i wont have an associates to fall back on...crystal came down for a lil while. that was great finally seeing her. bought these awsome cards. i almost lost the im easy one yesterday, that would have sucked. so have to use them on the ride to HIM. well i think that about it kids. till next time
current mood: my tooth hurts
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| Monday, April 10th, 2006
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12:39 pm
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i got Ben an interview at DQ with help from bryon and adam. im excited and nervous for him. i did my speech too, went okay. other than that im bored and in foods. nothing to talk about. i miss my friends-never have any time. cant wait for the HIM concert coming up (i know i know HIM SUCKS) anyways. lol. graduations coming up faster and so is prom. i still need to figure out whats going on with school next year-im so scared and nervous. i dont want to lose my friends/boyfriend next year but its almost inevitable. anyways. thats about it just freaking out like usual. crystals coming back soon thats exciting! my luck since i doubt she needs me to pick her up anymore i probably wont end up seeing her which sadens me a great deal. jj got his halo off so that was great fun. this school sucks and i got in a fight with the secretary cuz shes a nosey bitch. i think thats update enough, not a lot exciting has happened.
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| Thursday, March 23rd, 2006
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12:29 pm
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HIM IS TOURING AGAIN AND THEYRE COMING TO CHICAGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so excited and freaking out and i probably look really stupid cuz im at school but fuck it YAYYAYAYAYAYAZYAYAYAYAYAY
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| Monday, February 27th, 2006
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3:00 pm
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friendships feel like theyre falling apart. makes me so scared and sad for graduation. my friends mean everything to me and that diminishing. i dont know what im going to do or would or will do without them. i dont want to know or try and figure it out.
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| Wednesday, February 8th, 2006
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3:45 pm
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I GOT TEETH TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it was weird they had to grind them down to make room for the fake ones, it smelled so bad and i could see the dust. ew. but yeah well theyre temp. for now but i get the real permanant ones in 2 weeks. but either way somethings there. uhm. i guess me and jj are going out to eat, maybe a movie, and of course best buy saturday as our valentines day since he has class late on tuesdays and it would be rushed. not getting anything tho oh well its better than nothing and he says hes going to go all out and make it up to me when he gets his neck done so itll be worth the wait i think. trying to figure out the florida thing, i wanna go so bad, i havnt been to disney in like 10 years and i miss my crystal! and i NEED a vacation lol. i cant feel my mouth. one that note i bid you adue
current mood:  numb
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| Monday, February 6th, 2006
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9:21 am - do you really want to hurt me? do you really want to make me cry?...yes
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so jj was extremely mean to me last night. horrible. i didnt get home until 2 AM. i dont know what the hell his problem was but i still feel like complete shit. i said something like "i dont like you smoking,so you shouldnt" and he said "well i dont like you being fat, you dont see me complaining". he meant it as a "joke" but it was brought up a lot throughout the night. so looks like its gunna be me trying to have some self control and lose some weight. god like that will happen honestly...i wish i could have enought willpower to not eat for weeks on end or just some fruit or something. i work at DQ common'.that and how he doesnt care and cant bring himself to and right before all this happened he fed me some bullshit about all the stuff hes gunna plan when he gets his neck better and what not. we're not doing anything for valentines day either which really upsets me. i told him to send me flowers or something since he doesnt think he can go shopping or do anything else and hes like no thats too expensive. god...i really dont know why i put up with it somedays. and he was saying that i just wanted to get married and it didnt matter to who, which is complete bullshit. why would i want to get married to end up in divorce. stupid. he thinks i make him out to be the bad guy- he makes himself out to be the bad guy. then he bitches because i dont talk to him, i dont tell him when somethings wrong- why the hell would i if this is what i get.i just dont understand how one minute he loves me ,blah blah blah, and then the next he doesnt care about me and i need to lose weight. i dont understand. i really dont. im not that bad of a person to where i deserve this especially from him, im so good to him, i do everything he asks me to....i dont understand. bullshit.
current mood: numb
current music: brady talking in soc.
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, February 2nd, 2006
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12:57 pm
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sigh. i do everything for that kid and yet its never enough. its never enough to get him to be ...damn im lucky, i shouldnt be acting like this, i should treat her better because shes worth it. nope never. other things are always more important to him, like he'll drop me in a second once his friend calls and wants him to do something stupid. whenever hes with him he doesnt even think of me or how ill react and thats all i think of whenever im going to do something. i just wish i meant the world to someone like they do to me.
current mood:  aggravated
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Sunday, January 29th, 2006
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8:27 pm - to hell with DQ
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sigh. today pissed me off beyong belief. wanted to cry/quit. so sick of the dairy queen bullshit and its not even worth it. yeah so cody (working there a year) just got promoted or whatever to shift leader...okay its only on monday nights and from 5-8 30 until adam gets there but still-it should be me! he doesnt know kitchen and he hasnt been there as long as me. it was between me and him and no one even mentioned it to me, the bosses told cody they asked me and i declined! WHY THE FUCK would i turn that down???????????????????????????? i mean jesus. i practically run it now becuase the shift leaders are never around and i have to do what they do pretty much anywyas. they always leave me in charge when they go off to do god knows what. now dont get me wrong, i love cody. i do hes awsome! but it just makes me mad that i dont even get the opportunity and i dont understand what the deciding vote was. and as a slap in the face, i work tomarrow night under him. soooo yeah im plenty pissed and i dont know what to do about it because confronting the bosses or writing them a notes not going to do anything for me. adam says it was probably brian that said hed rather have cody but thats cuz theyre buddy buddy or something. brians bi polar it seems a lot of the time but adam would rather have me but didnt specifically say because they didnt ask and becuase he likes both of us. god damnit i need a new job. i still need to figure out my situation for the spring/summer. i need to start thinking about grad. party- all you guys are coming right? lol yeah...so lame i dont even want to have one....sigh....jj didnt kill me about my tat, he liked it kinda(just not the coloring cuz it wasnt different enough or bright enough) and was kinda pissy cuz i didnt take him with...right now im in the process of trying to get my dad to get one. mwhaha dont know how that will turn out tho, but im trying.
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, January 27th, 2006
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12:47 pm
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in foods-which i hate. anyways, i finally got my salsa ranch from work but bryon stole some which made me made becuase he has his own box but it wasnt available to him...gr. anways got my check but pretty much spent it right away. had my speech today it went better than i thought it would. mrs. shippy isnt too bad-kinda cool actually when you get the school part out of it. talked about tattoos with her today i guess she has a "doors" inspired one designed by her brother. yeah ally me and her boyfriend went to monroe last night. oh yeah btw i have 4 days next week yes 4 compared to my 2 the last few weeks- cuz tasha and tom are quitting(thank god for tasha i dont like her!) but i guess they hired a new girl named bianca so she sounds snotty but beats me so we'll see. but yeah after eating at DQ we went to steel dragon and ally got her MJ tat like she wanted. looks good and she took it like a trooper so im proud. i got another tattoo also (hence most my paycheck being gone), god it hurt so much more than my ankle- its sucked but i was proud i took it well even tho i still have the mark on my hand where i kept biting. my dad saw part of it today and was like "thats the last one right, your done for now right?" lol cracked me up. i figured i wanted 2 and now that i have those and this one hurt like a bitch im good to go for a while. i kinda warned jj i was getting another one and he said hed be mad but get over it so...yeah. he wouldnt even know about this one or even my ankle if i hadnt have told him about it in the first place. oh well. havnt told my mom yet, i dont see why it should matter. its cool lol, i like it atleast so thats all that should matter. well after we got those we hung out with aaron( he used to go out with amanda and hang around RG he used to offer to pay me to date him) but anyways he thinks he's a real badass. but from now on boyhunting needs to be done downtown monroe there were tones and "our" type too lol. but yeah randy eventually showed up too...jeesh. oh yeah! they had to shave my back lmao. i was so embarrased my backs not hairy i didnt think but i suppose its just procedure but they didnt share my ankle(even tho it already was) and they didnt shave allys ankle and shes hairy as fuck and never shaves, so yeah. and i looked half naked cuz i had to have my shirt like half way down so i looked naked in the mirror-akward...okay so thats about it. luv all-later days
current mood:  devious
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, January 17th, 2006
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2:58 pm
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jjs in good condition. back to being a jerk. its...i dont know...trying. we dont even talk anymore, just watch that 70's show seasons. quite lame but what else can i expect.in other aspects the life sucks. so much craps going wrong and im so sick of everything i just want to get away from everyone and everything-mainly everyone. i am just so pissed off and angry at everyone lately most of which dont know but they wouldnt care anyways. i have no one to rely on or confide in, my trust has been betrayed, no one is that valued friend that i yearn for so much.
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| Monday, January 9th, 2006
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9:28 am - a lil update
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yeah so i got off of work yesterday and went to see jj. it was horrible seeing the person you love and care about more than anything in that much pain and so miserable.but he's doing well, he really is which is great. i helped as much as i could with him, cut up his chicken, get this and that, cover him up,ect. god....its something like this that really makes you realize how much you love someone. I tried to stay the night with him but my moms a whore and wouldnt let me -suprise suprise. anyways, i went to leave and he kissed me for a lil while and didnt want me to leave and said he was better than the last few days cuz i was there and atleast he wasnt crying anymore because i was there now. thats all he did was ask for me and make sure i knew what was going on and now that i was there he was happier. he needed me there. and im dying because im not there right now. its killing me not being with him....but hopefully he'll be coming home either today or tomarrow..
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| Saturday, January 7th, 2006
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7:19 pm - a very.....eventful....weekend
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well lets see...
Theatre Fest was awsome again...saw leramie prject-the matthew shepard play, killed for tickets lol but me and ally got to go...it was good but not as great as i was thinking it was going to be. Stars Not Falling was great! wonderful! our "demons" lol! but yeah two guys seriously kissed and they swore a lot-edgy play that we'd NEVER be able to do. hmm... saw snoopy as well not that great although snoopy was hot. and....chorus line which was cool loved the dancing but ended up falling asleep. we also went to a dialects workshop that was HILARIOUS-so many quotes...."its a sad tear,so sad....so i ate it" "tasty" "like water" lol... if u were there u know and if u werent u eventually will from me em and ally lol. Got kissed on the mouth and other things but this gay guy at the dance. but it was cool-so did ally and em. he was a great guy though. the people this year out weighed a lot of the activities i must say. sad its my last year.
in other news....
during our dialect workshop i had my phone on vibrate and i got a call from a number i didnt know. call my voice mail-its jjs mom (tonda)....
jj fell 8 feet into a basement during work and broke his neck. i was ...i guess unexplainable. but you should have seen my face. so i called her right away. he's okay though. in a halo for the next 3+ months. has to have help doing everything, cant really do anything. i havnt seen him yet and its killing me that i wasnt with him when he needed me. its good to know tonda called me before she called her mom lol. top priority lol. i guess he's been checking over and over that shes called me, talked to me, knows whats going on, and eventually coming. i miss him so much and almost feel guilty. but when i talked to him he didnt really want to talk to me at all, had company. i called work tonight to see if i had to come in my boss wasnt moving, trying to find every way around it. she asked everyone and bryon volunteed so he can get overtime. i am extremely grateful so i talked to him and told him whats up and he said if i need any more days off throughout the week to call him. so thank god i get to go and see him tomarrow. im so worried and nervous. yep good times. ill keep ya updated
current mood:  anxious
current music: ill cover you- RENT
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Saturday, December 31st, 2005
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12:52 am - stole from em-friday5
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Then:
1) What was the first album/CD/Cassette you ever bought?
Spice Girls
2) What was your first fave song?
jeez long time ago- anything by BSB
3) Which song gives you that "funny nostalgic feeling" everytime you hear it?
anything by BSB lol
4) Name the first concert you ever went to.
well flaw/Ill nino and little bands but i count INCUBUS as my first
5) What do you consider the worst song of all time?
anything by Eminem
Now:
1) Name your fave song at the moment.
hmm..."Run it" chris brown(lolem) "out tonight"RENT
2) What is the most recent album/CD/Cassette you purchased?
purchased HALF COCKED but i got HIM(singles),69Eyes,MindlessSelfInduldgence,and AAR for xmas
3) Which song will you never get sick of hearing?
anything by HIM or Incubus...."goodies"by ciera "baby got back" Sir Mix A Lot "toxic" B.spears
4) What is your current fave music video?
"wings of a butterfly" and
5) If you could be a famous music artist, what type of music would you produce?
"love metal",alternative,rock something like that lol- something good, well to my standards
p.s. i know i know "HIM sucks"
oh yeah at the mall totally got hit on by the guy working at Sabarro and my brother stole the strombolli that was rightfully given to me cuz i was cute damnit! that and i totally froze and fucked up talking to this gorgeous guy at spencers lmao ally witnessed it all in its glory.god!. he looks like a taller rock version of john mayer....went like this
ally: hey you like him?!
guy: yeah-gorgeous smile btw lol
ally: she likes him
bethany: i love him? in true ron burgundy style lol
i was gunna say i love you but that woulda been a lil akward. damnit either way lol. oh well i have a boyfriend. so this is a fair share of updating since it probably wont happen for a lil while-lucky you
current mood: chilly
current music: toxic-brittney spears
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